Sex In Books | Not That Sexy (16+ content)

sex in books.pngEveryone loves a cheeky sex scene in a romance novel; or those secret make-out sessions in your favourite Young Adult series, but there’s a line.

With a society that is climatized to seeing sex in everything, perhaps no sex in a book is the New Sexy?

If an author tells you they have never written a salacious sex scene – they ar lying. But, ask them if it ended up in the book, and some will say no.

For my novel, Searching For Katherine, I wrote a sex scene for the night of Jennifer’s wedding – and then deleted half of it. Yes, I kept some of the build-up and the tension in, but there is no actual sex in the sex scene.

Sometimes, the idea of sex is sexier than the act itself. And sometimes, sex isn’t sexy. 

the-russian-concubineIn The Russian Concubine by Kate Furvinall, there is a sex scene between the two main characters who are roughly fifteen or sixteen years old. The boy is injured and weak, the girl tending to his wounds as she hides him the shed from her family.

It is a sweet, tender moment, but it is – naturally – a very awkward and fumbling scene. Why? Because virgin teenagers don’t know how to have sex, so it would be ridiculous for the author to have pretended otherwise. It is a beautifully written scene and one I have specially marked in my copy. I read it when I need reminding that sex isn’t always the sinners show it’s perceived to be. Sometimes, sex is communication.

It is a beautifully written scene and one I have specially marked in my copy. I read it when I need reminding that sex isn’t always the sinners show it’s perceived to be. Sometimes, sex is communication.


It’s difficult to write an article about sex in books without mentioning the elephant in the room: Fifty Shades of Grey. Originally written as a sexy Twilight fan-fic, and quickly tidied up when the website when crazy and was picked up by a publishing house; Fifty Shades is the perfect example of Sex Overload in fiction.

I won’t waste too much time talking about this series, but if memory serves me right; there’s a lot of pretty ridiculous sex in this book series. They have sex anywhere and everywhere, several times a day and it some strange positions and situations. I think Mr .Grey needs to see a therapist because he just can’t keep it in his pants.

The sex is completely unrealistic – however, it also proves that sometimes there is only one way to write a sex scene: badly. E.L James repeats the same phrases and rhythms throughout the book, giving all the scenes a very samey vibe. But, she is an international best-selling author; so she must have gotten something right!

porn v books.png

Perhaps sex scenes in books scene somewhat ridiculous because they are a little bit more real than we’re used to.

Most adults have watch pornography at some time or another, and we’ve all seen those perfect six-pack muscle men with engorged penises and perfect bodies. They give women expectations of what a man should look like in bed, and I’m afraid to say that not every man is built like Superman. Nor, should they be!

And for the men, those poor bastards are relentlessly shown swimwear models with tidy, toned bodies and tiny waists. None of these women have scars or stretch marks, none have bore children and they certainly don’t look like the women we see in the high street doing their shopping.

Why is porn so popular? Because we like to fantasize. Why does sex suck in books? Because sometimes… you’ve just got to use your imagination – and the only references most of us have are porn sites and some embarrassing sex stories of our own.

And because reading the word penis is never going to be as sexy as seeing one! 

So maybe next time you read an awkward sex scene in a book; remember that sometimes it’s better in real life than it is on the page; give the author the benefit of the doubt. And, if it’s really bad, just skip it.

Got an opinion? Share it in the comments! 

The Fraudulent Writer | Prose | 22 Blog Series

There’s nothing worse than feeling like a fraud. Telling people you’re something, an ideal, that you haven’t been in a very long time.

I am a writer.

Lies, all lies. Haven’t been one of those for months now. And months, inside the head of a strangled creative, is a lifetime when you can’t express yourself. Everything comes out harsh and dramatic and whiny. You and the keyboard aren’t talking anymore. You can’t bring yourself to open your manuscript and stare at words a past version of you typed and labored and loved.

The world is in a funk, that grey mess of a cloud; your brain turning to soup. Like an addict, your cells are dying the longer you pretend to live a normal life. That 9-5er day in day out dragging you down into the mundane abyss of the working age. Any attempt to take yourself back to your own personal Renaissance ends in a self-hating war that lasts days.

Nothing happy sticks.

Not being able to get out of bed in the morning, even though there is nothing officially wrong with your life, no one understands. That sinister melancholy clutching onto your skin like a cheap shower gel that won’t wash off. No amount of scrubbing or crying or screaming is going to get that melancholy off.

Not until you get the fuck out of your own head. GET OUT! Stop being a liar, a fraud claiming to be creative! Stop being the one that can’t see past the cloud. Where’s your curiosity? Run through the fog, arms flailing, singing along to stupid songs that make you want to dance.

You always want to write when you’re happy. And that boy is making you happy. You’re just being stubborn. So stop being a misog. Go and fucking write.


Read the rest of the 22 Blog Series here. 

Hearing The Streets: A Short Story

Headphones in, shuffling through weak-lit streets on a Friday night. Chinese take-out dangling from my left hand, half gripped half slacked, gently swaying as I stride.

Even through the music buzzing in my ears, I hear the click-clack of thirty-somethings in heels they can’t walk in, attempting to relive their twenties, but with more money and kids at home.

As I nip through an alley way, I am invaded by the sight of fourteen year olds, lurking in their bright-white Nike trainers and slogan-printed sweatpants.

One girl still has her school uniform on; black pleated skirt hitched up on her hips, her fake tanned thighs exposed. Her face glows in the iPhone light with a pasty-pale cheap foundation, probably bought with her pocket money. I can see her false eyelashes from here, and the resist the urge to peel them from her make-up caked face.


I carry on, forking right at the end of the street, eyes on the uneven paving slabs. The echo of lads-night-out is already abusing my music selection: taking over David Bowie’s Let’s Dance. The guys seem to sway in time to some invisible beat, somehow in rhythm with the chorus in my ears. Smart shoes ruined by vomit and spilled beer, they saunter off past me, taking their garish comments with them.

It starts to rain, so I pull my sweater hood up and I feel the preluded baby raindrops trickle down the back of my neck. I ignore them, but now I’m cold and eager to be home in my overpriced-underused flat.

The vibrations from a neighbouring night club make my shoes feel loose; my strides get longer and my breath gets quicker. The vodka flavoured cloud of breath exuding from my move hits me in waves. There are two boys on bikes crossing my path, about thirty feet or so away from me. I don’t exist to them, and I pretend I’m not intimidated as they wheelie and stand on the pedals, laughing and shouting to each other. The ignorance keeps up appearance and we all go our silent, separate waves.

The older of the two looks over to me; I recognise his face – but not enough to bother saying hello. He smirks at me through thin cigarette-stained lips, but his eyes looked daunted. I realise I work with his mother and make a mental note to forget this scene.

I can finally see my flat, my bedside lamp left on for safety, solitarily glowing purple in the dark. My playlist runs out just as I reach my building but before I can remove my headphones, they are wrenched from my head, knocking my hood down. My hair snags in the metal adjustments and I feel blood ooze over a piercing.

The last thing I hear is a faraway owl, hooting at the moonlight and then the crunch of my nose breaking as I face-plant the concrete that once glistened underneath my feet. Then, just like that, the world wasn’t full of drunk mothers and teenagers and bikers. It wasn’t full of melody and noise and vibrations. It was silent and dark and completely unapparent to the blackened sockets that once held my eyes: windows to the soul.

Insomnia Hotel

Welcome to the Insomnia Hotel and Spa: 

where your sleepless nights become our dreams!


Still awake at 2 a.m?

No problem. Everyone is awake at this hour.

Can’t sleep?

Join the club in the lounge of worried strangers.

Think you might have issues?

Our resident sleep-shrink is in Room 3.

Sick of being told it’s stress?

Come and have a massage at midnight.

Don’t want to go to work tomorrow?

Call in tired and sleep all day!

Interview With An Author: Matthew Drzymala *EXTENDED EDITION*

What got you into writing? Hmmm, that’s actually a tough one. I don’t remember when I started to write to be honest. I remember writing small stories when I was small. I also wrote a story about a haunted house in secondary school which was voted as the best story by the teacher.

After that I was a little more sporadic in my writing, mostly due to being an angst-y teenager. I do remember writing fan fiction on my Red Dwarf fan site. I suppose that was when my desire to write really started, if I had to pin point a time.

I knew I wanted to write but I never really knew what to do until a friend of mine told me to take part in NaNoWriMo in 2011. It was a wonderful experience and I managed to 50,000 word challenge three days ahead of the deadline. It left me with a huge feeling of accomplishment. True, the manuscript is still gathering dust after numerous attempts to tweak and fine-tune the novel, but hopefully one day I will get it finished and release it.


I then decided to look for a creative writing course which I did when I moved from Manchester to Liverpool in 2012. I loved every minute of that course, it was so challenging. I thrived on the deadlines to write our stories by the following week, each piece had to be different and I wrote a lot of dark stories. I have never thought myself as somebody who would write dark tales, but I did on that course. However, I also managed to write some lighter stuff too, comedy mainly. That is what I enjoy the most.

I was nominated by my tutor for an Adult Learner Award and although I did not reach the final, I still received a certificate which sits proudly in my living room at home.

What’s your favourite book and why? I’m not sure I have one, to be honest. I have favourite authors. If I had to say one book that I just couldn’t put down, I would say The Green Mile by Stephen King. Having already seen the film a million times I thought I’d finally give the book a go. It is virtually word for word the film yet I couldn’t put it down.

Even knowing what was coming, I couldn’t wait to pick it up the next day. A fabulous book. I’ve only read it once but that one has to be up there with one of the most enjoyable books I’ve ever read.

What’s your writing routine? I don’t get a lot of free time. At the moment writing is more of a hobby than a lifestyle. I have lots of interests but I try to write for 3-4 hours on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Having recently moved into a new flat, my writing routine is almost non-existent. However, I do try and write a little but after work.

I don’t tend to sleep very well if I write in the evenings, though when I do this tends to set my mind racing and it is when I come up with a lot of story ideas. I should try and write in the evening more, but I have to balance that out with also starting a new job and fitting in my other interests. I think as time goes on I will become more focused on my writing and I believe that it will be more prominent and take over some of my other interests.

I’ve only been writing a year and I like to write when I feel like it, but I do try to fix those hours down on weekends to make sure I at least write something at weekends.

Tea, or Coffee? Tea, all the way.

What got you into your particular genre of writing? I write mostly light-hearted fiction. I am a huge fan of Pratchett and Wodehouse so I like to think I take some of the silliness from Wodehouse’s’ Jeeves & Wooster with Pratchett’s Discworld humour. While I could never claim my work should be named alongside these two greats, they are two authors I admire greatly.

I ended up writing these as I was mentally tired on my course after all the darker stories and I just decided to write something light. It has grown from there, really.

Why do you love writing it? I suppose because I love writing them. I really love the characters I have created, even the ones that are nosy-parkers and busy-bodies who you deserve a slap. I have one character that I could write all day and still find more to say about them. I never meant them to be a main character when I wrote the small story in night school but they have become pivotal to the entire series.

As a first time author, how are you finding the publishing process? It can be difficult, at times. Learning how to format my word document to upload correctly to Kindle was difficult and at times baffling. Even now it doesn’t always space correctly and can take some time to fiddle around with to get it right.

I would say that promotion is the hardest thing. Humour is so subjective that it’s not always an easy seller. I have one of my darker stories available and that one has sold more than my series all together. That probably tells me I should be writing psychological stories, but I enjoy what I am doing for now. I have some plans in the pipeline but I have to get around to them yet.

How many books have you written and what are they? I have written five stories, four of them from my ‘Bumpkinton Tales’ series. They are Last Christmas, Bittersweet, The Bachelor and Albert’s Christmas. The Christmas tales are just short story tie-ins, especially Last Christmas. I wrote that in a week as a last-minute festive extra to Bittersweet which I was releasing at Christmas.


Bittersweet and The Bachelor and meatier novella’s and are the main stories in my Bumpkinton series. I tend to think of the Christmas shorts as extra’s rather than main stories from The Bumpkinton Tales.

Bumpkinton, as you will guess, is a fictional village and the stories are sometimes serious but they are littered with silliness, squabbling and a dash of pathos. There’s always laughs mixed in with a bit of sadness. There’s no swearing either. I want to make these stories available to all ages. They are very much something you can pick up after a tough, wordy novel and just relax for an hour or two of light reading before tackling another tough book again.

Last Christmas won the best short story in the Indie Book Bargain Awards 2013 while Bittersweet was voted as Runner-Up in the Best Novelette category. Something I am very proud of.


My other story is a short called ‘Brainstorm’. It’s set in New York and follows the day in the life of Clinical Psychologist, Michael Eriksson. He is pretty messed up. I am thinking of a more action-based sequel and have the beginnings of story, but I don’t quite have all the pieces yet. It proved very popular and during a free giveaway shot to Number #1 on Amazon in its Suspense and Thriller chart.


As a series author, do you find it hard to keep the story fresh? Not really. I have a whole village of characters to choose from. I do take time in picking a storyline. I have a number of characters who appear in every story. One especially is Father Whitworth O’Grady. He was meant to be a bit part player at the start but he has become the main character. I try and veer away from comparisons to Father Ted.

Some people have mentioned I have written him like him, I refute that completely. Father Ted is a selfish and unbelieving priest, while being utterly hilarious. I love that TV show. However, Whitworth, while being a bit impatient is a good priest who always tries to do his best. Okay, things don’t always go to plan but in essence he is a very caring character. He doesn’t poke fun at God and the Church like Father Ted does. To me they’re not even like each other other than that they are Catholic Priests.

I would also say not to worry, my Bumpkinton stories are not about religion. It’s touched upon now and again because Father O’Grady is a priest, but I don’t go into the daily routines of priesthood or anything like that. He’s the moral conscience of the village more than anything.

However, he does do something very Father Ted-ish in my next story, it’s something I’m wary of, but it’s a one off and I think it works well as a gag.

The stories are sedate and take place mainly in Bumpkinton and are about sweetshops and singles nights. Things like that. I have characters I am yet to use and have plans for them further down the line so I have ideas how to keep it fresh, including bringing in external characters. I can always bring in new people to freshen things up.

What tips can you give aspiring authors about writing a series? I would say to actually not worry if a character changes slightly. I think when you write a series people expect a character to be one way all the way through. However, when you start writing your characters change naturally as you write more stories in the series, either through circumstance or sometimes just because you think ‘Wouldn’t it be brilliant if they did or said this?’.

You do need to make sure you don’t contradict yourself though. Always make sure that you don’t mention a character did something in a previous story when it was a completely different character. I did that once but luckily I had a great set of proofreaders who pointed it out. It happens. You think a character said something and then you realise it was somebody else.

Above all else, enjoy them. You’ll find things out about your characters you didn’t expect, they’ll grow and some characters you thought would be peripheral figures suddenly take on more significance. Enjoy the ride. Oh, and never be afraid to kill anyone off!

How do you manage your time? Is it hard balancing your writing life with your working life? Yes, for me anyway. As previously mentioned, I have a lot of interests. I am a huge football fan. I love series and movies and watch things regularly. I read a lot as well as spend time with my fiancée. I would like to write more than I do, but I am happy with the time I do, for now.

Are you self-published or with an agent? Was this an active choice? I am self-published. Brainstorm I had a publisher for, but unfortunately they went under so it was pulled. However, self-publishing means I can get my writing out there. It’s unlikely I would ever have found one. Getting a novel published is so unlikely that self-publishing is only the real means for lots of writers to get their work out there.

I have proofreaders and an editor as well as cover artists (Or I purchase them) so I have a lot of help. It can be expensive and I haven’t made a profit from being an indie author. However, for me it’s not about how much money I can make and how quick. I don’t want to be famous. I’d love my stories to be read and loved by lots of people but it takes time to find the readers. I promote on Twitter and Facebook as much as I possibly can. I post on eBook pages where possible as well as my own website. It is very hard to get noticed but I’ve found some readers who have bought and enjoyed all of my stories (not just friends and family) which is lovely. I speak to them on Facebook and it’s nice to talk to these people who I never knew existed.

To receive a message about how much they loved my story is what I love. My writing tutor always told me to ‘Write for myself. It doesn’t matter if you never write a novel or become world renowned, as long as you write, that’s all that matters’. She was a great tutor. Completely bonkers, but a great tutor all the same.

Do you have a writing space? Tell us what it’s like! Not at the moment, we’ve just started renting a new flat so at the moment it’s all new. However, we have a spare room now with a little writing desk which I would love to write at with a cup of tea. However, there are suitcases and boxes in front and all over it at the moment. If I can get that cleared in the next few weeks it will be a nice quite haven for me.

How do you keep motivated? I just try and enjoy what I’m doing. If I’m not, I walk away. I ask my fiancée, Elaine, for ideas or tell her what I’m writing. She usually comes up with something to spark me back into life and I can get cracking on my writing again. Elaine always has faith in me so she keeps me motivated. All my stories are dedicated to her and always will be. She is my inspiration.

What did you struggle with the most when writing your new book? I think I’ll talk about what I’m currently writing rather than my last work. The last story I wrote was Albert’s Christmas and I found it quick easy to write. My next story in the Bumpkinton Tales series will be called ‘The Fantastical Gregory Shortbread’. I actually started it in the summer of 2013 and since then my ideas have grown.

Suddenly the title characters personality has changed so I have had to re-write him. I had some ideas about his past and the overall storyline in general and it just didn’t fit to how I had written him in that initial rough draft. He works much better now that I have started it from scratch. I’m keeping chunks of the original draft but I have to change vast swathes of his dialogue.

I think leaving it so long between the original start is the story has changed and it’s getting my head around how to make it work. Some aspects I really want to keep, but it’s making them fit the new story. Mostly it’s just a little tweak but some bits need a complete change around and I want to keep a certain one liner or scene without it jarring. I’ll get there. I was hoping to release it in October 2015 but I’ve left it open to a 2016 release. I set myself tight deadlines at times so this time I am taking it at a more relaxed pace until I am completely happy with the end product.

Do you have any hints for my readers about writing? Write. Nobody wrote a book by just wanting to write. Start writing. The first draft won’t be your final product. It can take a long time. It can be boring and frustrating, but when you’re done you’ll feel so happy you managed it all the days of not being able to figure out what to write next will be worth it.

That above will be enough for most people to decide not to bother, but if you want to write enough, you’ll get started, enjoy the days the words flow, get annoyed when you can barely string a sentence together the next and after months of editing be thrilled with the finished book.

Write. Write now!

Is there anything you wish you had known BEFORE you started your latest book? Yep, the change in story and title character! 😀

You’ve got a new book out! What’s it about?  My last book was called Albert’s Christmas and is a short story set in Bumpkinton. It’s the inaugural Christmas Market’s in Bumpkinton and all is going well, that is until General Lloyd-Barnes, the man playing Father Christmas calls in sick. Father’s Whitworth O’Grady and Harrison Stalker race around the markets.


Amidst protests, flirty florists and a vindictive journalist, the priests are losing hope that is until one man steps forward to fill some very, big black boots. Somebody they did not expect….

How did you decide on cover art? Did you consult with a designer or is it all you? Luckily on Albert’s Christmas I found a website with the perfect cover. It matched my description of the Christmas Market stalls. However, my covers for Bittersweet and The Bachelor were hand drawn by my artist friend, Becky Ryan. I tell her what I want and she just produces it. She’s a very talented lady indeed. I like the drawings to be quite sketchy and a bit down to earth and simple and she just comes up with what I was thinking of.

Any links or websites you would like my readers to visit?

If anybody is interested in finding out more about my work you can visit the links below:




Thank you for the interview, it has been a joy! J

Interview With An Author: Jennifer Seidler

I’ve fired up the Interview With An Author series once more and I’ve got lots of exciting #IndieBooksBeSeen authors lined up for the coming weeks so enjoy! – Melissa.

About Jennifer: 


Jennifer Anne Seidler lives with her husband, three children, dog, chickens, rabbits and one very cute (according to her daughter) hamster on the shores of the scenic Wisconsin River. She is an alumna of Millikin University where she studied theater and creative writing, as well as DePaul University where she earned her Juris Doctor. She is a brown belt, working toward her black belt in Karate. Jenn’s technical and scholarly work has been printed in publications such as the DePaul Law Review, the FDCC Quarterly, and Fire and Arson Investigator. Jenn has been writing stories for as long as she can remember, but “Dry Land” is her first foray into the world of published fiction.

What’s your favourite book and why?

It’s a whole series of books, actually. I love the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde. The prose is so inventive, and the story so off the wall and yet grounded, it’s all so amazing. Thursday Next is an amazing everywoman heroine. She’s so easy to identify with, yet her adventures are so creative. Jasper’s mind is one I’d love to live in for a while.

What’s your writing routine?

There really is no routine. I write when I get inspiration. When I do it’s usually thinking of the story when I’m trying to sleep at night, when I’m awake in the morning, over my coffee. I make dialogue by talking to myself in the car on the way to work. I use voices. Yes, I act out the parts as I’m writing the scenes in my head, call me crazy. I work off of a general outline but I often find myself writing myself off on tangents. Some tangents I keep, some I dispose of.

Tea, or Coffee? Starbucks trenta iced coffee with sugar free vanilla, thank you.

As a first time author, how are you finding the publishing process?

It’s both rewarding and disheartening. The highs are high and the lows are low. It’s a matter of toughening up, taking the hits and remembering the good parts. It’s looking at the dips in sales, or even the zeros in sales and then smiling when we look back at the good days. It’s feeling that “oh no” feeling when we get a negative review, but then looking back and seeing the plaudits and feeling good. It’s knowing that not everyone is going to enjoy the work, that the book is not always someone else’s cup of tea, that someone is going to pick apart the story, and others are going to suspend their disbelief and enjoy. It’s not expecting too much, and yet expecting the best out of ourselves. It’s a lot of marketing. Putting ourselves out there. It’s enjoyable. It’s nerve wracking. It’s worth it.

How many books have you written and what are they?

I’ve written a number of books, but Dry Land is the first one I’ve decided to publish.


Is there anything controversial or different about your writing?

I’ve been sort of judged for writing a male character’s POV (point of view) as a female writer. That goes back to the influence of Jasper Fforde. He can successfully write a female character as a male writer. Why can’t a woman do the same? I thought the criticism was unfounded and I wanted to at least make an attempt to prove that. I hope I was successful.

How do you manage your time? Is it hard balancing your writing life with your working life?

Yes and no. Work does demand. I have a full time professional job, and I deal with sensitive issues and cases where I have to give it my entire focus. My family is very important to me. I’m on the last phase before I enter black belt training. It’s a matter of learning when to write when the inspiration strikes and when to let it go when it’s not there. It’s getting up an hour early to take care of marketing stuff.  It’s working until two in the morning to finish that chapter.

Are you self-published or with an agent? Was this an active choice?

I am self-published. It was an active choice, as I wanted to control the content and the image, for better or for worse. I also think that independent publication is the wave of the future. Don’t get me wrong, if an agent came along and was interested in my work, I wouldn’t say no, but I like the way I’ve done this. Maybe next time I’ll seek out an agent. If one will have me.

Do you have a writing space? Tell us what it’s like!

It’s my kitchen table with my kids watching TV in the living room and my dog bugging me for treats.

What did you struggle with the most when writing your new book?

I struggled with the length of it.  I cut out a lot of filler, a lot of fluff and a lot of stuff that really didn’t belong there. I wanted the story to be streamlined, but not bereft of the important things. I wanted to keep it novella length, but struggled with doing that. I ended up making short stories out of two scenes I cut from the main story. Whether that was a good choice, I’m not sure, but I liked those sections.

You’ve got a new book out! What’s it about?

Ted “Shakespeare” Hardiston is an intelligent architect and a veteran astronaut. He and the crew of the Space Shuttle Liberty are sent to the Moon to complete work and to live on Lunar Base One, the first manned base off-planet. As part of their work, they terraform the Moon, giving it gravity and an atmosphere. This, however, does not come without consequences, and whether the consequences are known or unforeseen is a question only Ted’s crew mate, Daniel Pierce, can answer. Ted, the ectype Codie-5 Kehlstrom, and the rest of the crew of the Space Shuttle Liberty must act fast and make sacrifices in order to save the Earth below. Complicating matters is a rather shocking revelation about Ted’s true nature and his purpose in this crew, on this mission, and his life.

What it’s really about is the consequences of our human impulse to create in our image, to form nature to our selfish needs, to explore what we can explore. It’s about personal knowledge, about deception and what does that does to the human (or not so human) heart, and about what it means to be human.

How did you decide on cover art? Did you consult with a designer or is it all you?

The cover art is all mine, but I’ve reached out to a designer to see if we can spice it up. I do like simplicity in book covers. I like easy colors and bold typeface, but I think mine currently may be too simple. We’ll see!

Any links or websites you would like my readers to visit?

Words and Images: Inspiration: Tracey Emin

Last week I went to the Turner Contemporary Gallery in Margate. We were asked to write a fiction piece based on our favourite image from the Selfie Exhibit. Here’s mine:

Photo credit:

Photo credit:

Turner Contemporary Gallery Visit – Inspiration: Tracey Emin picture

When she walked into the room, it was obvious she was high. She rocked herself back and forth on the spot like a barely sea-worthy fishing boat; weak and under prepared for the storm to come. As she pushed past the scarcely clothed bodies that filled the rotting beach house I’d rented for the month, a smile crept across her thin lips. She drew her hands up to the top button of her dress and undid them one by one. One step, one button: until she was stood in just her jewels and her blue mismatched underwear surrounded by drunken twenty-somethings with money to burn. I remember Lana Del Rey’s ‘Young and Beautiful’ playing in the background, but all I could focus on was this strange girl stripping in the kitchen. For some bizarre reason, it reminded me to add milk to my shopping list. Her skin looked yellow and bright compared the moulded whitewashed plank walls that encased the entire building and her braided hair made her look younger than she was (or younger than I hoped she was).

Outside the summer storm was making the air sweet and sticky, but the drugs had an even better effect on my guests. They danced and laughed and sung into the early hours of the night. But the girl ignored her audience, whilst simultaneously captivating us all. No one knew who she was, and no one could tell. Her underwear left little to the imagination, but her jewellery was what finally gave her away; a spoilt city girl with Mother’s good looks and Daddy’s cash to spend. Friends in high places was the phrase, and was most certainly the reason she was taking off her bra and leaving it in the sink. Flaunting drug-wrecked skin for the stare of strangers just to get the attention she craved.

I didn’t see her again after that party: only in a Polaroid I found taped to my refrigerator the next morning. On the back was scrawled a phone number in smudged black ink with a lipstick stain to seal it. I never call her.