Sunday Morning | Humour Poetry

Kick-about

with empty cans,

avoid the kebab (on your right!)

Ignore the mess in front of the corner shop

don’t even think about going near vodka today…

Vision’s feeling a bit shit, can’t tell if it’s my head or not

Feeling my brain shrinking quickly – the flashbacks start,

oh god, did we do that, go there, again? ‘Sorry’ text sent!

But morning’s come, and we’ve made it to bed.

Let’s cuddle up before the hangover sets in

and sugar candy coat the night before.

Thank god it’s Sunday morning:

eat your bacon and shut up!

Zzzz

Countdown To Christmas: Day 9 [Humourous Poem]

Sorry I’ve left today’s countdown post so late but I found the new McBusted album on Spotify.

ANYWAY – Christmas is only 2 weeks away and everyone’s getting excited about all the wonderful presents waiting to be opened. SO I thought I’d write you a funny poem about Christmas Day:

Glitter-wrapped gifts

under a store bought tree

kids waiting for the big day

knowing Santa is on his way

parents wishing the holidays  would never end

because they don’t want to work again

students grappling for the last piece of meat

because they haven’t eaten for 12 weeks

but finally Christmas Day comes around

the men head for a drink

women cry into the kitchen sink

the stuffing’s burnt

and your aunt hates peas

the cat has hidden the tinsel from the bloody tree

Granddad Jerry found the booze again

and now he’s sleeping in the den

but by the time the turkey’s done

everyone’s had their bit of fun

so it’s time to sit with the family

and pretend the food isn’t making you queasy. 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

now somebody pass me a goddamn beer!