Diary of a Nobody: My Version

Today I read a post on Medium by one of my lecturers about how she realized she was Charles Pooter from Diary of a Nobody. *Steals blog idea* I will now attempt to diary-form my day for you:

5 a.m: Wake up because my housemate is still playing reggae.

6 a.m: The sun wakes me up by rising. Very tired. Check emails, drift off to sleep.

7 a.m: Restless – can’t stop thinking about laundry. Put some on the line as the weather looks promising. Get back into bed.

9:45 a.m: Finally give up on sleep, and turn computer on.

9: 48 a.m: Realize I haven’t showered yet, takes shower. Nearly slips. Mental note that the house needs deep cleaning before we all move out.

10:11 a.m: Check email and various other websites. Headache. Call my mother, no answer. Think about cleaning – ignore OCD instincts.

11:26 a.m: Notice I’m hungry. Forage for food and find out of day bread – risk it and make toast.

11: 28 a.m: Mother returns phone call, argument about my not wanting a second job over the summer. Mental note: she thinks my career is a joke.

11:45 a.m: Write an article for Readwave about Internet Cleansing.

12:01 p.m: Get washing in.

12: 20 p.m: Get asked to be a Theme Owner. Don’t quite understand the title, but readily accept anyway.

12:23 p.m: Tea break.

12:30 p.m: Deep thought about my life and overly aware sense of direction.

12:35 p.m: Start editing the final draft of my novel. Write a message on my whiteboard for housemate to knock when she wants tea.

2:45 p.m: Housemate knocks. I attempt to make tea with a migraine. End up dropping a mug of milk on the floor. Finds glasses in vague attempt to relieve headache.

2:51 p.m: Tea break.

3:00 p.m: Hungry – finds secret box of Crunchy Nut cornflakes. Sit’s down to watch Buffy Season 2.

3: 20 p.m: Tea break.

4:12 p.m: Confusing text from colleague about overtime.

5:12 p.m: Find in-date grapes at the back of the fridge.

5:20 p.m: Confusing phone call from boss: mis-communication on the part of my colleague.

6:00 p.m: Updates Amazon author banking details and tax forms: not fun. Still have a headache.

6:23 p.m: Social media check. Missed an entire Twitter conversation. See’s lecturers blog post and steals idea.

6:52 p.m: Realize I’ve left my housemate by herself in the living room.

7:00 p.m: Social media checking and updating. Ibuprofen taken for pain.

7:05 p.m: Tea break and consider making dinner.

7: 11 p.m: Write a poem about a vampire death – rather impressed with it. Show poem to housemate for approval. Make a mental note to be less reliant on people’s opinions of me.

7: 19 p.m: Check blog stats for the day, disappointment rears it’s ugly head.

7: 20 p.m: Realize tea is in other room. Follows tea.

7: 45 p.m: Finally decide to make dinner. Discover I still have pasta and pesto – a small triumph.  More Buffy-watching.

8:30 p.m: Housemate makes her famous potato wedges.

10:38 p.m: Gave up watching Buffy after I got freaked out by one of the demons. Put myself to bed watching QI on You Tube.

 So there it is, and entire (exceedingly dull) day of my life. I hope you were as bored by it as I was.

 

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